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    All we need are the 'Date-Mate' Scorecards to determine if love is in the air for you.


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    This introductory dance marks the first point at which the assembled ladies can thump the buzzer on their podium to turn off their light and remove themselves from the ensuing sexual negotiations.

    The buzzer makes a horrible, heart-breaking sound, which evokes a dying robot, a comically wilting erection in a Carry On film, or Piers Morgan climaxing.

    Here’s a little reminder of a typical Blind Date exchange: FEMALE HOT SEAT CONTESTANT: “Contestant 3: If you were a cloud... ” MALE CONTESTANT NO 3: “Well, my friends would definitely tell you that I'm a very... Once in a while, a handful of audience members would smile so enthusiastically that they actually exploded.

    The couple would return the following week to recount a holiday filled with such existential angst and dread that it was almost a Jean-Paul Satre novel.Just before my mother left our house to enjoy a lorra lorra laughs with her friends she always came into the sitting room to give me a quick reminder of her maternal affection: a peck on the cheek.That's rather apposite, because Blind Date was undoubtedly the light entertainment equivalent of a peck on the cheek: nice, wholesome, earnest, comforting, and always leaving a faint but pleasant impression.“I think we’ll stay friends,” one of them would say, “but, you know, the sort of friends who don’t see or talk to each other ever again.” The whole concept and execution of the show felt harmless and innocent despite the odd stutter-step, like the show's American cousin The Dating Game unwittingly fielding one of the most prolific serial killers in US history, Rodney Alcala, as a contestant.HOT SEAT CONTESTANT: “Contestant 3: If you were a cloud… ” SERIAL KILLER NO 3: “A cloud who enjoys murdering people. ” If Blind Date was a peck on the cheek, then Take Me Out – its flashier, noisier, nastier offspring – is a full-blown tongue down the throat, complete with unwelcome groping.

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