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    In the 1978 movie "Coming Home," Sally Hyde, an able-bodied married woman, falls in love with Luke Martin, a wounded Vietnam veteran who uses a wheelchair.


    Dating a grieving man thedating ru

    Not a relationship per se—this business of being on my own and caring only for myself is intriguing and I’m learning too much to want to abandon it.

    I wasn’t interested in Match.com, nor a friends-with-benefits setup. Or so I thought until I went on the one and only date I’ve had (outside that marriage) in the last quarter century.

    We spent three hours chatting, making connections, occasionally flirting, a bit of hand-holding. I found him attractive and decided he was someone I wanted to know better. He needed to get home, he said, suddenly slammed with exhaustion.

    Rule #1: When I feel the impulse do something for “him” (whomever he might be), I will look at my own life and ask if that nurturing thing is something I need to do for myself.

    I have no confidence whatsoever that this tactic will work, but I hope to try.

    A day and a half after our dinner, he sent another smiley face via email. I wanted to reach through the screen and grab him by the throat: Explain yourself!

    A few hours later he posted on his Facebook page that he’d come down with the flu the night of our date.

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