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    And, (see number one) even though it looks like we’re doing great (and sometimes we are…see number 4), sometimes we’re just barely holding on. She said she was married to a man in the military and they got divorced because ultimately, the stress and distance was too much for her and her husband to handle.

    Don’t ask us to make elaborate plans, take elaborate trips, or do something that you know is going to create stress. We are always getting up in the middle of the night-always taking the dog out-always getting up with the kids-changing every diaper-washing every dish-taking out every trash bag-making every meal tired. There’s not a lot of time to work on or even enjoy the marriage.

    One of my close military wife friends said this to me, and I have never forgotten it. It keeps us sane, it holds things together and it makes us happy and keeps our kids on the right track. It’s a matter of keeping things status quo, so we can handle anything unpredictable (and there’s always a lot of that). Obviously, we have fun and enjoy our children; in fact, they are often the best distraction from tough duty stations. We plan to have our children around the time our husbands will actually be home AND available. ) We plan family vacations and weddings around these schedules as well, and often, they get canceled or postponed.

    Just because we appear to have it together during tough duty stations (see number 7)…laughing things off and trying to make the best of everything, we are always at our limit. There are times we are raising our kids alone, and we cannot, even if we wanted to, get a hold of our husbands…for weeks. Because when we do deviate from the system, there’s always a huge fallout. I know more than one military couple that eloped after their elaborate wedding was canceled due to a last minute trip.

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